Having Hope and Resolve
by MadameRemi
Summary: Hope's starting his path to getting over Snow and tries to not let anything ruin that. I'll be difficult, but he'll make it right? -Unrequired Snow x Hope  Maybe required in future
1. Marriage equals Closed Doors

**A/N: This is the story for the prequel of 'The Years it took to Fall.' I place a new chapter depending on time I have. Usually it'll be one day to three days. **

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><p><em><strong>Chapter One:<strong>_

_** Marriage equals Closed Doors**_

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><p>I watched as my mom spread out the different books on the glass table. She had on a happy smile, her aura magically positive. Serah stood nearby her chatting softly in a sweet tone with her eyes shining with excitement. I tightened the grip on my textbook and ignored the surge of jealously -or was it envy, inside my core.<p>

Mom and Serah were planning the wedding's decorations, the theme and what will be prepared.

I sat quietly on the couch trying to stray from watching Snow's fiancé with my piercing gaze. I never let my true emotions take place. Instead I held it inside as I swallowed down any bitter words that I wanted to scream out at Snow and his newfound love.

Love was never an easy thing and I let it consume my whole self and turn my world upside down. I let my emotions run astray and I briefly wondered if I should have confessed my feelings back when I started to realize them.

It's too late now.

"Heathers, carnations, and roses! I say that would be a wonder flower arrangement." Serah stated out loud breaking my inner thoughts.

I narrowed my eyes at the textbook wide open yet I couldn't read it. Those flower combinations would go horribly in this current weather in Palumpolum.

"Snowdrop and Camellias." I muttered too loudly without thinking.

The two pairs of eyes glanced over in my direction and I gave a small nervous smile averting my eyes from their questioning glance.

"I mean- This weather would be…unpleasant for those three flowers. Snowdrop and Camellias I would recommend. If you really want to listen to me, you don't have to." I came up with and bit down on my tongue. Why did I hurt myself like this?

I could just be in my room away from their planning.

"Oh. Maybe that is so." Serah agreed with a nod and flipped through the catalog. She smiled at me.

"Thank you Hope."

Don't say my name. I wanted to bark back. It makes me feel sick to hear you say my name so comfortably as if we are the least bit close. I knew I was bad at controlling emotions so feeling this enormous amount of jealously wasn't healthy for me.

I stood up and closed my textbook to finally rid the pain I was causing myself.

"I'll be in my room studying mom." I announced and stepped across the dining area to head for my bedroom. I quietly slowed my pace as I went into the hallway and clutched the book to my chest in a painful grip. My eyes stared down at the maroon carpeting.

He's getting married soon. I shouldn't keep hanging on an invisible thread for Snow to ever return my feelings. I knew that once I saw the pathway leading to desirability for the older male, it would only end up in heartbreak and lament.

I silently passed the half open bedroom filled with the bright light coming from the shining lamp and peeked inside the room.

There lay Snow taking a peaceful nap resting on his left arm facing directly to the door entrance. His soothing calm breathes sounding through the room through his slightly parted lips. His blond hair falling over his cheeks perfectly matching his rare tan skin tone made sleeping seem like it was heaven for him.

I gulped quietly feeling the warmth spreading through my face as my heartbeat seemed to hit harder against my chest as I stared at him. I watched with distressful eyes as I turned away from the scene and continued to my bedroom just two doors away.

I couldn't help but fall deeper in love for the unreachable man.

I shut my door with a lock and fell against the bed frame and buried my face into my hands. This was the first time after hearing the news of Snow's engagement, that I let the tears come down without a sound.

The studying was just a cover up for my mourning. My pitiful charisma only made my mood less positive. If I truly am in love with a hopeless unrequired yearn for Snow, then I had to fully support who he wanted to be with.

We all can't have what we desire. My name may be hope, but was there really hope for me?

I don't think so. Not one bit.

I collected myself and decided to follow Snow's example and took a nap. Sleep seemed the best thing to go to get away from my expressive chaos.

"_What do you think about love Snow?" I asked in wonder as I rested against his chest as he gazed up at the clouds._

_We were outside taking in the warm sun and breezy winds. I sitting in Snow's lap as he leaned against his arms supporting himself on the palms of his hands. _

"_Love? Well I don't think it's an easy thing ya know? I think that if you feel happy and warm and just alright with someone without wanting them to change, then that's love."_

"_I love my mom very much then." I said out loud with a smile._

_Snow chuckled._

"_And you should love her forever kid." He stated ruffling my hair._

"_And…I love you too." I whispered softly._

_A large hand stayed on my head as I could feel Snow grin against my head when he leaned down._

"_Yeah me too kid." He replied and my heart swelled._

I woke up with a startled gasp as I touched my eyes. Tears were formed at the edges and I wiped off the dry tears stained on my cheek. I hated having that dream. It was the only time I said 'I love you' to Snow. But of course I made it sound as if brotherly or friendship wise. When he said it, I had wished it meant much more. But I knew that wasn't real. My love and his love for me are on different sides of the world.

I needed to accept that.

I pushed myself off the bed and felt the small need for some food. I pattered across the soft carpet into the living room and reached into the fridge to pull out my leftover bowl of salad and a bottle of water. I wasn't on a diet, I didn't need that. I just didn't have the drive to eat anything else but a plain meal. I could be lost in thought when I ate slowly and feel full halfway. Besides…it had spicy chicken tenders cut up and mixed with the contents.

I sat down on the table and eyed their plans so far. I unscrewed the cap of the water bottle and saw the theme: Crystals.

My mom smiled over at me as I stabbed a piece of lettuce with tomato. I could feel Serah's short gaze on me before she continued flipping through wedding catalog.

"I always find you eating salads. Do you want me to make you something else for a change?" She asked gently.

I looked up at her and forced a smile and shook my head.

"No mom it's okay. I just need a snack, so I settled for this. Thanks for asking though." I replied and continued eating looking down.

With Serah around, I suppose I felt more…vulnerable.

"Yeah thanks you all for waking me up to help with wedding plans." A loud voice stated with a groan following behind as I heard Snow stretch.

Serah gave a happy giggle and stood up to wrap her arms around him in a loving embrace and he returned the favor with equal feelings. I glanced at them and then to my fork. _'No confidence Hope where had that gone?' _ I wondered in my mind and placed some of my salad into my mouth.

"I just thought you needed the sleep honey. How was your nap?" The petite girl asked sitting back down and the screech of the chair moving back sounded through the dining area as Snow sat next to her. He gave a yawn and shrugged.

"Good enough to satisfy me. How's it going Nora?" He said smiling.

My mom gave a smile in return.

"I'm here helping with your wedding plans only having three days before the marriage arrives." She teased at him.

Oh right. Snow announced his engagement, but added the 'minor' detail of him getting married in a week. My mom had work for three days, so now she barely got around shopping for wedding catalogs and searching up venues and what not. Four days before Snow was fully committed and I had to stop my infatuation or else it'd just get ugly.

I stayed soundless through the trio's chatter of doing this, doing that, how much, how less, what food, what music, what scenery, I blocked that all out. It made me unanticipated for the upcoming wedding.

I frowned at my empty bowl.

I needed to stop being negative and start becoming the real Hope Estheim who was smart, nice, and positive.

Love couldn't ruin my personality right?

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><p>I took a deep breath at my reflection in the mirror. Wearing white wasn't a good match with my already pale complexion.<p>

I pulled the sleeve over my hand as I gripped it and had my expression of self-doubt. My eyes filled with trouble. I snapped out of my view as my mom walked in and patted my shoulder complimenting my outfit.

"I'm glad I picked this out for you. You look so handsome Hope. Can you believe it? Snow getting married today and it felt as if yesterday I had brought him into our lives." She told me smoothing out the high collar of my white dress outfit.

It wasn't…proper wedding attire. It was just a shoulder less sleeve shirt with a connecting high collar with two black buttons. It matched with white pants and beige-like boots reaching midway to my knee. The zipper in the middle shinning a silver tone. I may be handsome to my mother, but would I even catch a second glance from Snow and be deemed beautiful or cute?

I wouldn't hope on it.

"Yeah hard to believe huh? Its okay mom, I'm sure he'll still be in contact when he goes back to Bodhum." I responded with a smile.

My mom smiled at me through the mirror's reflection and I just noticed how alike we look opposite gender. My dad had no saying in this. He said he'll 'try' to make it to the wedding, but I'm sure he didn't have the ounce of care for Snow's marriage. He had been around home more after Snow left back to Bodhum.

I wonder how my dad would respond if I told him I liked Snow in a romantic way.

"Snow didn't tell you? He'll be living at the vacant apartment complex below us. He said he loves his hometown, but Serah is going to attend Eden University sometime and he'd like to be around here while she went up there."

I blinked at this up-to-the-minute information.

No, he never told me. He hadn't really made much conversation with me. I'm guess he's just been on the high pedestal of his love and marriage. No time for good old Hope.

I shook my head.

"News to me, but I'm glad. Snow's kind of… _'My one'_…an older brother or friend." I replied.

My mom kissed my head and pulled away.

"That's sweet. Now I believe we have to present ourselves at the venue. You ready?" She asked for confirmation.

**I'm not ready.**

**I can't deal with it.**

**I don't want to go.**

**I...don't want to live heartbreak from now on until who knows when.**

**I can't.**

**But…**

**This is for Snow.**

I stared at myself in the mirror and smiled.

"Yeah...I am." And I stood up to walk through the doors into the hallway just a few feet away from the large doors leading to the marriage of Snow Villiers and Serah Farron.

I'm ready.

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><p>I smiled a bit as Serah smiled loving at her new husband and got pulled in for a kiss.<p>

It's official now. She's Serah Villiers.

I clapped gently along with my mom as the newly wedded couple smiled and laughed holding each other.

Serah had an older sister, name unknown, but she had a fierce stance as she watched her little sister get married. I noticed the small protective aura, but the happiness for Serah. She was mature looking and she seemed like she didn't get along with Snow, but reluctantly gave into his arm crushing hug with an annoyed face.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone here, and she seemed reverse persona from Serah. So I went up to Serah's sister in hopes of a name or something to get my mind off the couple in full devotion.

"Hi. I'm Hope. Hope Estheim."

She glanced at me with crossed arms with a narrowed gaze and she looked away.

"Lightning." She simply stated.

Conversation was going to be difficult with this person.

"Lightning huh. Nice to meet you…"

She nodded still not breaking into the comfort of communication.

Yeah, definitely different from Serah's attitude. It was better than sweet smiles and happy giggles.

"Okay then, I'll just be off to see this cake." I stated turning around towards the direction of where the three layered cake presented its self.

"It's noticeable kid. What will you gain from that?" She asked looking at me.

I stopped my movement and looked over at her. I narrowed my eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

She's not that perceptive right?

She eyed me and placed down her arms her eyes piercing at me with a hard look.

"You think I didn't see the way you looked at that idiot? I've seen it plastered on other girl's faces, yours was much more yearning and defeated. I don't butt in to personal things, but I recommend getting over him soon."

I faltered back and shifted my eyes towards Snow. Did he notice as well? Was that the reason he didn't talk to me much? If Serah's sister could read me out, then was it the same for the others. My voice was stuck in my throat and I was stuck.

I didn't have an explanation for this.

She sighed.

"Listen Snow's thickheaded, I'm sure he hasn't caught on, which is why you should end these feelings before he eventually does. Just a word of advice Hope." She stated.

I looked down and nodded.

"Yeah I know that. I'm a smart person, but I guess I'm just a fool for falling for someone unattainable."

She reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder forcing me to look up at her.

"Everybody's a fool at some point. For instance, I was so against Serah marrying this guy that I ignored her feelings and what she wanted and ended up with a bitter argument with her. I showed up to the wedding and it was resolved. You," She said pointing at my body, "have to find your resolve with Snow. It'll take time, but you'll get there."

I nodded.

I liked this Lightning person. She may seem like a hard shell to crack, but she caught on quickly to emotions and giving advice.

"Thanks…Lightning. I think I just started my path towards resolution."

She moved back and crossed her arms once again.

"No problem."

I went over to the cake with a real smile for the first time after finding out about Snow's engagement and his marriage.

I believe… I do have the strength to deal with this with a positive set mind.

I pushed away the noise around me and grabbed a slice of cake.

I won't have to be empty and cold anymore.

I'm truly ready to end this.


	2. A Single Embrace can be Everything

**Remi: Okay so I've read, and correct me if I am wrong, that Hope had two childhood friends named Kai and Elida. If I'm not right I'm sorry. I just read a chapter of Hope's past where they were named that. I don't know how they look so excuse me for describing them in my own version. Other than that. Enjoy.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two:<strong>

**A single embrace can be everything**

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><p>I stared fair-mindedly at my lunch in the Palumpolum Academy eatery. Students bustled around in small crowds ordering food, talking, and sitting down in their seats. I kept my head in my thoughts as I tried to ignore the bitter feeling in my stomach as I wondered just what Snow and Serah where doing in their honeymoon.<p>

They were going to a resort near Nautilus, a beautiful one, Serah had quoted.

I sighed and dropped my fork. I had no appetite right now with that thought in mind.

I really shouldn't be thinking of them –_him_, anymore. I was starting my path of getting over Snow, so thinking of him wasn't going to get me anywhere.

"Hey H." A voice broke in through my conflicting thoughts.

I looked up to the friendly voice and smiled briefly at my best friend, Kai. He was a good yet ambitious type of guy. Taller than me by five inches, he strived to be a Pilot. I felt motivated to continue my dream of being a Science Engineer or an Architect. Girls adored him for his rare eyes: one hazel and the other light green. I became intrigued at his eyes for a while, but never once have I fallen for him.

'_Would've been a lot easier.' _I thought to myself ruefully.

"Hey K." I replied with less enthusiasm as he sat down to unwrap the sub sandwich wrapper.

We used the first letter of our first names to call each other by. Something we picked up after a while of knowing each other. I had another best friend named Elida, but she pursued her dreams of becoming a singer and went off to an all girls-academy. Better for her not to get distracted my guys…or something like that.

Kai took a drink of his fruit punch energy drink and I messed around the mixture of my salad. Today it was a fruit salad with a vanilla brownie to the side. Healthy and fulfilling to a boy like me.

"So Snow got married yesterday right? How was the wedding?" He asked.

I inwardly felt the rush of memories come back to me as I remembered their laughter, their vows, their love, their _everything_. I stabbed a piece of fruit.

"It was full of…love." I muttered looking down.

"…And why do you seem so down?" Kai questioned taking a bite of his sub and watching me. He knew my emotions like a book. He was that attentive towards me.

I sighed and looked up at him. His different colored eyes held wondering.

"I really…don't understand why I'm angry or hurt. I just want to fix this." I said not giving a clear explanation to him.

He sighed and twirled the plastic knife between his fingers and rested his chin on the palm of his hand staring at me.

"Well why don't you start from the beginning instead of a random place, and maybe I'll understand." He suggested smiling.

I scooted back in my seat leaning against the booth and brought up my knees, my lunch long forgotten. Where would I start? The 7 years of knowing Snow? The time I first felt attracted to him or realized my feelings? The day my heart started to beat rapidly whenever he directed his smile at me. I didn't know how or where to start.

I gave a small frown and picked at invisible lint of my dark green knee length shorts.

It's simple really.

But it's not simple to pour out my feelings and hearing me confess them and know just how in love I am.

I am disgusted.

Closing my eyes, I opened my mouth to start.

"The day I met Snow…I was seven years old. The years progressed and I started to change. I felt differently for him. I would feel myself feel shy and embarrassed around him. It wasn't until at age ten, I believe, that I realized I had fallen for him." I stated in a soft voice, but loud enough for Kai to hear.

I glanced up at him through my silver bangs. He had narrowed his brows as if trying to take in the information and understand it. I continued.

"So I tried to deny it or rather…degrade myself for what I felt. I would say I was nothing to Snow. It was wrong to even consider liking him that way. That these feelings weren't _real_. But that didn't do me any good. I still knew I liked Snow a lot. I tried to avoid him. I wanted to be in his wife's place. I wanted to be everything to him. And here I am…trying to get over him, but I still find the need to think of him." I finished sighing over my speech.

Kai leaned back and crossed his arms.

I waited for him to say his part. Would he accept me still? Would he hate me? Would he shun me or keep me a best friend?

"_Hope_," He started a small smile forming.

I looked at him with a small surprise. He hadn't said my name for the last four years.

"I don't care if you like Snow or guys in that matter, but I do care to be a good friend and be there for you anytime you want to talk. So I'm glad you told me. It's cool. I understand. You are going through a major bump in the road, but you have others who will help you. You just have to start it." He spoke in a sincere tone.

I nodded and gave him a smile.

"Thanks _Kai_…" I whispered and we continued our lunch hour talking about random topics.

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><p>"I'm home…" I announced in a low voice. <em>'If anyone is here…'<em>

I dropped my book bag on the leather couch and turned on the lamp giving a soft glow into the living room. I noticed my mom had cleaned up the leftover cake and wedding decorations that piled up in the dining area.

"You're back from the Academy?" A stern voice asked and I stiffened momentarily.

My dad hasn't been too present here at home; making the excuse of working late or having too much work so he would be locked up in his office. Why change now? I narrowed my eyes looking to the side.

Only because Snow is married and away from here.

I knew my dad still held some sort of disdain to Snow and I really wondered if the rumor about Snow caused him to behave that way.

I glanced over at him and saw him sitting down in the second living room in the center of the apartment complex.

"Yeah I am." I responded and headed to the kitchen for a bottle of water or an energy drink.

I started making my way to my bedroom when my dad stopped me by exiting the room and coming towards me.

"Hope." He started.

I clenched the bottle and turned to him.

"Yes?" I replied. A single 'what' would not be satisfactory for him.

"I want to apologize for neglecting you and your mother. My schedule has interfered with our family dinners and trips. I am sorry."

I couldn't believe his apology. His schedule? Yeah right. More like _Snow_ had interfered with our family so I couldn't be here. I can't put up with one dinner night of seeing him. What a role model you are dad.

My anger got the best of me.

"Maybe you should apologize to mom about this instead of me and tell her you are sorry for behaving rudely at Snow and making inappropriate remarks at him when he's not here!" I yelled and stormed to my room before I could get a scolding.

I knew defending Snow only raised my feelings for him, but for once I didn't care. It wasn't right for my dad to play the innocent. I plopped onto my bed and stared out the window.

I stayed silent in my room hearing the voices of my mom and dad minutes later. I could feel an argument coming to place.

The one thing I hate: my parents arguing.

I sigh and looked at the lock on the window. I could just press my palm against it and leave the apartment without them knowing. The vertical lined windows of the kitchen and hallway area were dark tinted so you couldn't really see outside once the sun set.

I thought about it for a while.

I needed to get out before their argument reached my ears and I just know it's about Snow.

It has to be Snow.

I picked up my small jacket and placed it on before quickly unlocking the hatch and moving the window to the side and stepping out.

I ran towards the gate and pressed a code before exiting down the stairs.

I wasn't noticed by my parents, thankfully.

Of course I wasn't running off anywhere far, just the main lobby. The tropical plant became my acquaintance as I sat down on the bench and rested my head on my knees. My arms were wrapped around them and I closed my eyes.

What else could I do now? I said I was okay with doing this.

_**Getting over him. **_

Yet…it's as if an invisible obstacle is in my way.

I couldn't get as to why my dad would not like Snow.

Snow is…nice, friendly, outgoing, helpful, charming, strong, handsome, and-

I bit my lip feeling a blush rise up my cheeks. What am I doing?

Here I am going over how much I am love struck at this big loaf. I gave up a shaky sigh.

I have it bad huh?

"Hope?"

I opened my eyes in small panic and turned to the voice.

It couldn't be.

**Of course it is.**

I am imagining this.

**It's real.**

He's only a fantasy.

**Or not.**

He's supposed to be with Serah right now, why is he here now?

Snow grinned at me as he came closer.

"It is you kiddo." He exclaimed and patted my head in that friendly manner of his.

I smiled wearily.

"Hi." I murmured.

He sat down next to me. _'Don't do this to me now.'_

"Why are you down here?" He asked looking over at me.

Shouldn't I be the one asking that?

I frowned and stared at my shoes.

"My mom and dad are into an argument, I don't want to hear it." I explained.

Snow gave a short nod and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. The touch burned. I swallowed my nervousness. I couldn't hold my emotions in like this.

"So…what are you doing here? I-I mean…shouldn't you be on a honeymoon right now?" I asked softly.

He removed his hand and I felt cold. He sighed and looked up at the sky through the open space of the lobby.

"Yeah well…we had it planned, but a last minute thing came up for Serah about her appliance to Eden University. She had to go in for a face to face interview. So I spent the day rescheduling…wasn't easy." He said.

I stared at his face as he looked up at the sky where you could see Eden. He showed his love for Serah through his eyes and his hopeful wishing for her to have a good future. He was a reasonable person, I understood that.

I smiled sadly at the floor.

"Oh…I see. Uh…have you moved to the second floor yet?" I questioned trying to end the topic about Serah but keep him interested in the conversation.

He turned to me and grinned.

"Almost done settling in. Wanna see the place?" He encouraged standing up.

'_No I shouldn't.'_

'_**But I want to…'**_

'_It'll only hurt me.'_

'_**I want to go…'**_

I stood up as well and nodded.

"Sure." I responded and followed him to his apartment complex on the second floor.

He opened the gate and scanned the key card to the front door and it gave a signal beep and it automatically slid open. I stepped inside hesitantly.

"Come on it's not really a mess." He assured me with his smile.

I looked around the place taking note of the boxes and the modern furniture.

It's…

Cozy.

I smiled to myself and touched the wall for support as I observed the place more. Almost identical as my home with a few dissimilar exceptions.

He placed his hands on his hips and looked at me expectedly.

"So what do you think?"

"It's a comfortable atmosphere, I feel…at home." I honestly confessed.

He seemed pleased with my response and walked over to me ruffling my already unkempt hair.

"My first comment, I'm happy." He stated.

I'm happy to be here with you…

I glimpsed down at the floor. I shouldn't be thinking like this anymore.

Why am I still acting like this?

I need to stop.

"Do you want a snack?" Snow offered.

I shook my head.

"No thank you…" I whispered and drifted off into silence avoiding eye contact with the tall man.

He seemed to have noticed my troubled expression and leaned down crossings his arms to gaze at me.

"You okay? Do you need anything?"

"I…" I spoke and stopped.

I…what?

_I need you…?_

_I want you…?_

I looked up at him.

"I need…" I sighed and bit my lip.

"What I need is a-

My sentence was cut short as a pair of strong broad arms wrapped around my small frame and pulled my closer. My eyes widen in shock.

Snow was…

He was…

"You just need a hug I assume? It's cool…everyone needs one once in a while and whatever problems you are going through, just now you have people who care."

I remembered Kai's words and nodded wrapping my arms around him as well and burying my face into his stomach. It wasn't easy placing my face anywhere due to our major height difference.

I closed my eyes and took in his touch. This was…

Wonderful.

I pulled away before it lasted longer than it should have and smiled a bit.

"Thanks Snow…I guess I did need that." I said and wiped away any incoming tears.

I wasn't about to break down in front of him.

He grinned and pulled me into a one arm embrace.

"Of course kiddo, it's my pleasure."

Is it?

I wonder.

Did you like it too Snow?

Holding me…or did I…remind you of Serah's small frame?

I looked at him and went to squeeze his hand before moving away.

"I gotta go…"

'_Before I start spilling my feelings and ruining this good moment.'_

"You sure you're okay?"

I headed to the front door and nodded.

"Positive." I responded and left the apartment complex.

As I stepped outside I took a deep breath and placed a hand over my face as a strangled sob came out unexpectedly from my throat.

"Why are you doing this to me Snow?" I whispered.

I needed to stop this…_now._


	3. What you Give is What you Lose

**A/N: Hmm. Chapter 3 is shorter yes, but there will be about 6 chapters. Halfway done? Who knows. Anyway, Gran Pulse is still a touchy subject for Cocoon, but let's just say they don't exactly _fear_ or _hate_ that place THAT much. :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

**What you give is what you lose**

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><p>I suppose this meeting was sort of fate?<p>

No, fate didn't happen.

It was more like…an opportunity to take the chance to get away and help myself in the terms of where I can be fully happy and free of my feelings for Snow.

Of course, the acceptance from my parents had to come first.

I was thankful they didn't notice my short absence from my bedroom and our dinner was an 'awkward' family dinner. To say the least I wasn't all too comfortable.

It started the morning I was on my way to the Academy. I was walking along the path I take to my school and a stray girl was having no luck trying to get the attention of the city people. I smiled a bit at her fallen posture and she had seated herself on the bench. I had about twenty minutes to spare before classes begun and the Academy was only five more minutes of walking distance. A small chat wouldn't hurt.

I had started to walk over to her and she noticed my presence and her mood brightened. She stood up and beamed a cheerful smile.

"Oh hi!" She said.

I found out the reason why others didn't pay mind to her. She held out a digital pamphlet and explained to me her job. She was trying to recruit 5 people to join her voyage back to Gran Pulse and do a learning program of technology.

You see…It was nice and helpful of her to explain what she was offering, but Gran Pulse was a very touchy subject in my world of Cocoon.

Nobody really hated them, but that didn't mean it wasn't on solid ground with Gran Pulse. That long ago war caused bitter feelings on both sides, but people in Cocoon were neutral, disinterested, not friendly, or cold about the likes of Gran Pulse.

She said she came directly from Gran Pulse and had traveled here for a new view and decided to bring some people with her to Gran Pulse to show them her land and how magnificent it truly is despite the fallacious talk of it.

She offered a pamphlet to me. Well she more like thrust it to me and begged for me to '_please consider'_ it. I found out that her name was Vanille and to meet her three days later for an answer.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to look at it, but…I could never think about going to Gran Pulse. My parents wouldn't allow me to and I wasn't on the side of going there even if what she said was true about its beauty and warmth.

I spent the time thinking over the strange Pulsian girl and the program.

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><p>As I walked up the stairs to reach my third floor lobby I stopped short when I saw Snow placing empty boxes outside his room. He had only his black muscle shirt on and his baggy dark gray pants. I could tell he had been unpacking for a while for the sweat didn't go unnoticed on his chest. The orange and pink glow from the sun hitting his frame made his body glisten and I shifted my eyes elsewhere.<p>

It wasn't the right time to be checking out Snow's body built no matter how strong and enchanting he looked.

I quietly tried to pass by him so I could avoid any exchange, but I guess I failed at that attempt as he yelled out my name in a cheerful tone.

Damn my beating heart.

I turned to him and gave out a small wave.

"Hey Snow…unpacking I see." I stated standing there as he walked up to me. He held a cold water bottle in his hand and he took a large gulp and I watched as some of it streamed down his tan like skin and I bit my lip.

Now's not the time to be enamored.

He screwed the cap and grinned.

"Yeah finally getting to it since Serah hasn't come back from Eden yet. She called in to say she'd be staying overnight, but she should be arriving in a few hours. How was school?" He asked.

It was thoughtful of him to remember my prestigious school and I gave him a smile in return.

"Fulfilling as usual." I simply said and tightened my grip on the strap of my book bag. He gave a curt nod and I wondered when our conversations couldn't continue smoothly like before. I guess as we grew up we became more aware of things, or more like, I became more aware of things.

Was my personal distance the cause of losing that close connection I had with Snow? I remembered we could talk for hours straight jumping from topic to topic with happy smiles on our faces. I frowned at the thought. I noticed I don't smile as often. Did I really let myself become this closed?

"Hope…" Snow started.

I glanced up at him and he had a slight frown on his features.

Did I say that out loud? No I couldn't have what a silly thought.

"Yes?" I replied softly.

Snow crossed his arms and leaned against the rectangular pillar the touched the ceiling of the second floor lobby. A peach rose color with red lining that shined. The matching polished granite floors showed my shoe's reflection.

"I've noticed something lately." He said.

I tensed up and I managed to stare at his face. He had on a small worried and trouble expression. Did he…?

No.

I couldn't deal with it if he knew right now. I would break down in front of him. I wouldn't be able to catch my breath. The world would turn upside down. The worst feeling in history would fill my body and I'd have to deal with him hating me. With him disgusted, annoyed, confused, shocked, and everything negative I could think of. He can't know…

I gave a solemn expression as I glanced towards the empty boxes. My lips still curved down in its frown.

He clicked his tongue loudly and pushed away from the pillar.

"It's that Hope." He spoke with a slight concerned tone but his voice rose. "Lately you've been less…yourself. I've noticed you don't smile as much anymore and you hardly try to make conversation with anyone. I was surprised as hell when you had a full blown conversation with Lightning. And she's hard to crack. Is something going on that you are troubled about? It's not just about your parents fighting right?"

Lightning…you lied. He does notice. He just doesn't notice how hard I've fallen in love with him. Sooner or later he's going to be guessing what's wrong with me and once he hits 'Are you in love?', then everything will be revealed.

I pressed down on my lips and narrowed my eyes. I could be vulnerable, but I still held my defense shell. I could snap at Snow. I could be outright rude and cruel to him, but it'll only make me realize that even though I am mean to him, I can't hold a grudge against him. I still would be in love with him.

I settled for my angry tone.

"I'm fine _Snow_. Whether you believe it otherwise. I mean I am a teenager so maybe I'm just going through that phase of where I'm not in a mood of smiles and happiness. I'm still myself." I replied.

He gave a firm look of disbelief. This is the first time I saw him glare at me, but not harshly.

"I find it hard to believe you are going through that phase Hope. You are the smartest teenager I have met so you know how to act. What's the real reason? You can't say you are yourself when I know the real Hope." He responded.

When did this turn to me? Why was it turning borderline argument?

The _real_ Hope? How would he even know the real Hope? The real Hope is just a low confidence teen who can't handle his emotions properly and is undeniably in love with you. The real Hope would be breaking down right now and pouring his feelings. The real Hope…_**wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.**_

I clenched my fists and glared at him.

"Then who is the real me? Apparently I've lost him somewhere. Enlighten me Snow." I gritted out.

Snow dropped his crossed arms and slammed his hand on the pillar for support as he leaned over me.

"The real Hope was a kid who would always smile, who would always talk about his daily events with a glowing aura around him, who would always joke around with laughter, who would be a helpful person with his mom and spend family dinners explaining the latest project he had done in school. The real Hope-

"Is in love with you." I cut in coldly the sides of my eyes forming tears. My voice had broken.

I had done it…

Every single thing he described about who I was before made my heart swell. He _knew_ me. He still does and he wants that person back. I couldn't handle the way he spoke each statement with concern and desperation in hopes I would reach him and realize that I needed to be me again.

Well I believe this did it.

I confessed.

He stopped his speech in shock. I knew it would take a lot of bravery for me to say it, and I knew the real Hope Estheim would have said it long ago.

Who was I to be a coward?

The silence killed me, but I waited. I was patient. I have been.

Snow moved his hand away from the pillar and I watched as he barely touched the top of my head his face hidden.

"I'm sorry." He muttered and turned back towards his front door.

Time stopped and my breath fell short. The worst is happening. He hated me. He's disgusted with me. He can't even look at me in the face now.

The ache I was preparing to feel turned into cold resentment.

I felt the words coming up my throat as I yelled out.

"Didn't you want to know the real Hope? Now you are running away just because of this? I thought you were stronger than that Snow, I thought…" I held back my tongue and looked to the side.

He had stopped walking his back facing my view.

I started heading for the stairs.

"Never mind," I spat out with hurt laced in my voice, "I won't ever be in your life again if it makes you uncomfortable now." I ran up the stairs wiping away the tears starting to come down my cheeks.

I didn't bother to go inside my home, I stayed near the planted flowers my knees dropping as I sobbed into my hands.

I had never cried this hard before, and maybe…it was just the right release.

I let it out, all of my feelings into tears.

I don't remember how long I was outside or how loud I was sobbing or when my mom came outside and had wrapped her arms around me and stroked my hair.

It was then I knew she understood. She had figured it out sometime ago. She wasn't there for me before, but she was here now. She was aware of my troubled feelings…a mother always knows right?

The pamphlet in my bag wasn't forgotten and I knew that is truly was something I considered now.

What was left for me to lose now?

**Nothing…**


	4. A Crystal view of Clemency

**A/N: oh another chapter. Hmm. I was more inspired to type this. It's longer too! 2 chapters left. Enjoyz.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

**A Crystal view of Clemency**

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><p>"So uh…what do you think?" I asked staring at my mom as she looked over the pamphlet of Gran Pulse and the program.<p>

She made me my favorite drink to comfort my pain of rejection and the scent helped clear my mind from any unwanted negative feelings. She sat with me as I told her everything and she understood everything. She held me in her arms and whispered that everything would be alright, to just have hope.

I smiled at the thought.

Sometimes my given name has a good outcome towards my daily events.

She placed down the guide and gave a heartwarming smile but I could tell she was hesitant to accepting it. She didn't want to let me leave her at a young age to vast world of unknown even if there were going to be people there.

The environment would be extremely different to me as I recalled about Pulse's less technological structures and roaming feral animals.

"I'll have to think about it, but you also have to think it about it as well Hope. Don't do this based on hasted emotions of your heartbreak." She stated.

I nodded.

"I know, we have three days." I reminded her and she smiled and stood up.

"Well that's plenty of time to go over this with your father." She said and gave a small chuckle at my dreaded expression.

"Dad has to be in on this too?" I said in slight disagreement.

She walked over to the kitchen and I watched her prepare for tonight's dinner.

"Of course, it wouldn't be pleasant to find out his son has gone to the world below for three years. Would you imagine the response?" She teased in a light tone.

I sighed and made my way to help her with dinner.

"I guess so." I said and she ruffled my hair with compassion.

The preparation for dinner included small talk about the remarkableness of Vanille's clothing and the Academy. For once after my timeline of deep sorrow and inconsistency, I felt free and happy to be here with my mom. A true smile went over my features as I laughed along with my mom.

Dinner wasn't so uncomfortable and quiet anymore and I had a small conversation with my dad as well over my latest idea for a building design.

* * *

><p>To say the least, I'd probably be holed up in my room sad and hurt, but my mom propositioned for me to go out and get some sun for my pale skin and enjoy the city's comfort.<p>

I followed her advice and dressed in a light blue tank with a white sipper vest over it and slate gray knee length shorts. I tied the black lace of my small light bray boots and slipped on a yellow wrist band.

I narrowed my eyes at the sun beaming down on Palumpolum and I snapped open the latch for the gate and pushed it aside. I stepped down the stairs in a normal pace and hit the second floor lobby. I didn't linger to stare at Snow's front door and crossed the floor to get to the other set of stairs.

I had to unfortunate luck to bump into Serah and I stumbled back and caught her arm before she lost her footing and fell down.

I couldn't have Snow putting the blame that I tried to kill his wife or something.

She seemed a bit startled and I wondered if Snow told her about last evening. I muttered a soft sorry and gave a small wave and I continued down the stairs. It's better to leave that drama alone for now. I needed to get some time alone to clear my head of yesterday's events.

I left Felix Heights and started walking around Palumpolum's structure. I guess I'd have to say I'm a bit happy to be living in such an advanced city. People were walking around talking, sitting down and conversing or enjoying the great scenery. I hit the shops and killed time looking over models of building designs on the wall screen.

Online shopping was the city's height of commerce, but our stores had a lot to offer as well.

"Hey Hope!"

My named was being called and I turned to voice. I knew it wasn't Snow, although the cheerfulness was there. I smiled at the person.

"Hey Kai, no more calling me H?" I teased moving my attention away from the images.

He shrugged.

"H is for our budding friendship, full name for our tight respect and support. What are you doing out here?"

I rolled my eyes smiling.

"Hard to believe I take interest in coming out to the city's shops?" I raised a brow and he laughed.

"Right you're a teenager too. So uh how are things…?" He trailed off and I knew exactly what he was getting on. I smiled sadly and made my way around the store towards the books on Architecture.

"Well yesterday I confessed and got a negative response, I broke down, but I'm getting over it right now. My mom suggested I go out to have fun and stray from that thought it mind." I informed.

Kai gave a reassured smile.

"It's okay Hope; I know you'll pull through. Do you want to get some ice smoothies?" He presented with his content smile and enthralling two colored eyes. His honey hair was to the side with a slight bang covering his light blue eye.

I gave a nod.

"Yeah."

Kai loved the strawberry and lemon ice smoothie. I preferred the sour green apple and blue raspberry ice smoothie. Palumpolum gave the best ice smoothies.

We talked about new assignments we are doing in the Academy and other subjects of future goals. I didn't mention the Gran Pulse program; I would save that for another time when I knew for sure if I was allowed to go or not.

I wasn't acting on haste emotions.

Sure I was hurt and I went straight for the idea of going far away, but I know I'll make the right choice in the end.

I exited the ice smoothie parlor with Kai and smiled at him.

My lips were tainted blue and his red-pink. We gave each other matching expressions of humor and chuckled. I touched his shoulder and thanked him.

"No problem H." He bumped fists with me and I said my goodbyes with a heartwarming smile.

I continued on through the city going through the clothing shops. I don't care much about fashion, but I do like to keep my clothing proper and good looking. I spent the whole morning until afternoon in the city enjoying the fresh air.

I bought three different books about architecture, Gran Pulse, and mechanics.

I stepped down the pathway towards my apartment complex address in Felix Heights: a home friendly environment. I stepped onto the stair and entered the main lobby. I passed through the dim hallway with the open windows bringing the light source. I went up the stairs to the second floor lobby and headed to the third staircase.

I briefly glanced at the front entrance and went up the first step before I was stopped with a gentle hand on my arm.

I turned to look at Serah who has a small smile.

"Hope…would you like to come in? I made some lemon squares…" She asked in her smooth comforting voice.

I knew it had to be confronted sometime, but right now I'm still calm, so I'd rather pass. I gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you for the offer Serah, but I need to head home. Mandatory by mom's order." I said.

She gave a nod and pulled her hand away.

"Alright…"

I continued up and she called my name out again.

I turned to her and waited for what she wanted to say to me this time.

She looked hesitant at first and cradled her hands against her chest as she showed her inner struggle to speak to me. It was probably about _that_.

"Snow…he's-…He's very sorry Hope." She informed her eyes downcast.

I frowned slightly. I know you aren't very happy with it Serah, if you can't look at me in the eyes. It hurts you too and I should apologize, but Snow shouldn't send out you for this, he needed to face me and apologize then.

"I can appreciate the thought, but…maybe he should say it out loud to me. Thank you for telling me though, Serah." I spoke and went upstairs before she could stop me again.

I entered my home and dropped the bag on the kitchen table and greeted my mom. She was working on some papers. My dad the same…I greeted him as well.

They were quiet and I noticed the firm expression on my dad's face. So my mom told him about Gran Pulse then…

I sat down and waited to see if one of them would start a conversation. My mom dropped her pen down and smiled at me.

"How was your day in town?" She asked.

I shrugged.

"Good, I ran into Kai and we had ice smoothies. It was nice…"

"Was that coincidental or a planned date with him seeing as you don't mind liking guys." My dad's stern voice commented, but it wasn't filled with disgust.

I shifted my eyes towards my dad who glanced up at me and I turned to my mom who had her hands folded with a small frown.

Oh.

So she told him about _that_ then.

I sighed.

"No dad it wasn't planned. My…interest in Snow…doesn't concern other males besides I don't like them any more than girls." I retorted gently.

My dad gave me a strong gaze as I returned it equally before he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms.

"You seemed troubled lately the past few months and I wondered if _he_ was the cause. I suppose it was but for different reasons. I do not like the concept of it and I knew he would be a bad influence-,"

He rose up his hand to stop me for responding to his insult of Snow and shook his head as he continued.

"…But I understand you went through a difficult time and you stayed mature about it. As long as he never did anything physical with you." He stated and held the tone of question as well.

I shook my head.

"He never did anything physically…intimate. He's married dad, and he never showed awareness towards me in that way. Don't worry…I'm getting over it." I replied.

My mom clasped her hands together.

"Then on the subject of important things, we can talk about the program." She brought up.

My dad sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and I knew that was his way of showing opposing a certain concept. My mom glanced between us and gave her serious expression.

"Hope I recognize that you're not in the best of moods right now, but Gran Pulse is a big place to go to and all of the work we have to do to even be allowed to go. You know how high security is with the subject of that place. It's a well defined program, but consider the risks you'd have." My dad commented.

I shifted in my seat and responded.

"I know the risks dad, and I'll spend the next three days thinking and learning about Gran Pulse. So please at least consider it…" I sounded as desperate as Vanille when she gave me the pamphlet. I wondered briefly where she stayed here in Palumpolum or if she went all over Cocoon as well.

My mom touched my dad's hand and she smiled with comfort.

"How about we think about this together tonight? I know it's a hard thing to consider, but we'll try for Hope right?" She suggested.

My dad gave a short nod and looked at my eyes.

"Alright Hope we'll think about this but we don't have a positive answer yet. Tomorrow perhaps or the day after."

I nodded deciding not to press any further. He had already known about Snow and Gran Pulse, I didn't want to add any more pressure or discomfort on him. I stood up and announced I'd be reading my books in my room.

I entered my bedroom and locked the door, a small habit I had and laid out the three books on my bed. A small beep sounded in my room as I glanced at the flat screen on my wall. The flashing blue light presented itself on the corner side which meant I had an incoming video message.

Only my mom and dad knew my home's video message number to my room, and Kai as well, but nobody else…

I stepped over to the digital screen and pressed the green button and moved back as the screen flashed to the scenery of a living room. I crawled on top of my bed and seated upright crossing my legs and bring the Gran Pulse booklet to my lap.

I waited for the image to be clearly shown and in a matter of seconds I vaguely recognized the place save for the different decorations.

Snow's living room.

I frowned and crossed my arms as Snow was perfectly viewed sitting down on the sofa. I glanced around for Serah but she was nowhere in sight.

I kept my solid gaze on Snow.

"How did you reach my video message number?" I called out.

Snow didn't reply and instead his started his own part.

"Hope…I am sorry for how I reacted yesterday. I was shocked to say the least, and it was wrong of me to provoke you like that."

I rolled my eyes and clenched my grip.

"You provoked me alright, but I was brave enough to just spill it out, or else I still would've been shy and troubled around you holding this in. I've changed Snow, I'm the real me except I just don't want anything to deal with you right now." I truthfully stated.

Yes it was true that I still held that emotion of slight love for Snow and maybe my need to forgive him was strong, but I was stronger and I wouldn't let it win. I had to be mature about this.

Snow sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm a jerk, sure, and maybe a slight coward for not trying to understand your feelings, but I want to still be a part of your life Hope. You're special to me remember? We can't let…what you felt for me ruin this right?"

He was right. He was reasonable too. I would've said the same thing if he had stayed to listen.

I glanced down and stared at the book of Gran Pulse.

"I…I get that Snow…and maybe later on I can be fully okay with being around you, but right now…I can't and…I might be leaving." I spoke softly but I knew he heard me clearly.

He furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Leaving? Where to…?"

I held up my book.

"A met a Pulsian girl on my way to school…the day I confessed to you. She was offering this program to go with her to Gran Pulse and I'm considering it. Mom and Dad are as well…" I informed.

Snow stood up and stepped forward coming a little closer to the screen.

"Gran Pulse? Kiddo that's below Cocoon and filled with a different environment! You can't possibly think of leaving just like that."

I narrowed my eyes.

"It's my choice and I want to go. Perhaps I'll clear my head better and learn new concepts of Gran Pulse."

"So then you are the one running away." He said.

I placed the book down and glared.

"I'm not running away. Don't put words into my mouth. This is a chance to broaden my learning background."

If this is how it's going to be from now on with Snow, constant debates of disagreement, angry expressions, bitter words, and more…then Gran Pulse is at best for me. I couldn't stand to have our roles reversed.

From friendship to differences.

He seemed to get the situation at hand; our moods were unstable right now.

"Alright…" He said and took a deep breath and lifted his gaze to me.

"I'm sorry for offending you in any way…I never intended to hurt you Hope… I truly care for you." He spoke gently and I softened my expression.

I nodded shortly.

"It's for best Snow…we can't-…I can't control my emotions around you, but I don't hate you just so you know." I confessed in whisper.

He cracked a small smile.

"I can never hate you kiddo and I'm not disgusted or anything about your feelings…I suppose I just needed time to take it in."

"That's what Lightning and I talked about at your wedding." I stated.

He gave me a questioning look.

"At your wedding…I wasn't all too happy…you know. But Lightning said she knew I liked you like that and we both agreed on my getting over you. Turns out it happened in a different manner then I had planned." I informed.

He smiled.

"Lightning is hard to please, but she gives the best advice she knows when to be helpful."

I smiled back and brushed my hair to the side.

He grinned and placed his hands on his hips.

"Now that's the Hope I know and see right there." He announced.

My heart did beat a bit faster and perhaps I felt happier, but I knew it that soon it would just be a feeling of contentment. I love Snow…I do still, but I will get over him soon.

I chuckled softly and bit down on my lip with an embarrassed smile, my cheeks flushed with color and a pleased feeling.

"You're adorable ya know?" Snow commented.

My eyes widen a bit. What was he…? I was feeling a bit more flushed and a small displeased pout formed.

He laughed.

"You are someone I care for Hope and soon you'll find that person who will love you equally." He stated with reassurance.

"Yeah don't patronize me with words that will make me still like you…" I muttered.

He crossed his arms giving a humorous smile.

"I thought it was love?"

I stood up.

"That's it I'm going to end this call now if you continue." I threatened my heated blush obvious.

He laughed.

"I kid…I kid. Can you come over now?" He asked.

I thought about it. Was I ready to face him? Well I suppose he was supposed to face me and he did via technology. Still…

I sighed and smiled.

"I actually like lemon squares you know." I said and he grinned further.

"That's what I like to hear. I'll be waiting."

The video message ended and I touched my face and smiled warmly.

Yes…I still love him, but now I feel like a weight lifted from my shoulders and I knew that we could be back to our past selves and soon I'd be over him.

**Hoping.**


	5. Let me Wish with you

**A/N: Yeah longer chapter. Next is last one. I liked this one. :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

**Let Me Wish with you a New Meaning of Hope**

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><p>Lemon squares tasted excellent when warm.<p>

I thanked Serah for the dessert and she was glad I had made up with Snow.

We spent the time watching some film…well Serah and Snow spent the time cuddling, but I paid no mind. It didn't hurt as much as it had before. I was okay with it.

My mom allowed me to go over only if I was sure. I eased her concern that everything was resolved now.

Snow had given me an unexpected hug that I returned with equal strength before I gave small apology to Serah for falling for her husband. She said it's nothing to be sorry about because I loved him longer and knew him first.

Things were well again and I wondered if I would regret leaving to Gran Pulse now.

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><p>The day I met up with Vanille she was in the exact same spot I had met her last time.<p>

She had on an eccentric outfit as usual with many accessories and her cheerful smile was as bright as the sun. Everything about her described sunshine and rainbows. I smiled as she waved at me and pulled me into a hug.

I suppose I look huggable now.

I sat down with her and she practically bounced in her spot. I would have to get used to her bubbly personality if I went to Gran Pulse.

We first talked about the process of getting to Pulse. I told her I'd tell her my answer if she told me the whole sequence. She was dejected but it didn't stop her happy aura. It would take four days to do have everything filed. It seemed like a good amount of time to prepare.

She grasped my hands and stared at me expectantly.

"Well?" She prompted with her smile.

I bit my lip and then my smile broke out.

"Yeah." I simply stated.

Her eyes searched mine and she shook her head with a big smile.

"Yeah what? Come on Hope tell me!"

I laughed and nodded.

"I'll go with you to Gran Pulse." I said clearly and she squealed hugging me again.

It was a surprise when my mom and dad hesitantly sat down and explained a long speech about the dangers and the long journey, but knew where they were getting at. They accepted and said I could go to Pulse. My mom held me and said she'd miss me and that I'd better find a way to work the technology and make it super modern so I video message her; my dad the same but less over exaggerating.

Vanille stood up clasped her hands.

"Okay then! I'll just start registering myself to exit back to Pulse and then you and in four days time we'll be in my homeland ready to explore the many fantastic things! I'll see you soon Hope!" She hugged me a third time before skipping off.

That went by in a flash and I vaguely wondered where she got all of her joyful energy from.

I headed back home and decided to break the news to Kai.

"_So I guess this will be the last I hear from you huh H?"_ Kai spoke over the cell receiver.

I smiled.

"No, K, I'll keep in touch. I know that once you graduate from the Academy you'll be off to your Pilot Academy, but I'll make sure to see you before you go off" I responded gently.

"_Such a shame, I'll miss your shortness." _ He teased with a slight chuckle.

"Thanks to know my height is of more importance." I teased back.

We talked for a while and promised to see each other once we graduated and I came back.

It was good to know I had a best friend who supported me no matter what. I'll miss him, but I'll miss everyone I know as well.

My mom, my dad, Snow, Serah, hell even Lightning.

I need to thank her one day.

I exited my room and helped my mom make lunch for our family. Four days of spending the most I can with them. I was excited for Gran Pulse, but I knew I was more nervous than anything.

An unknown land of only having the acquaintance in the form of a bubbly girl, it'll be terrifying and different, and I hoped things will be alright for me.

"Oh Hope I forgot to give you this. It's from Snow." My mom brought up and passed me a mini sphere. It was like a note except in the form of a virtual hologram.

I pressed the button in the privacy of my room and the letters came out in the glowing hologram.

'_Kid, I heard that it was confirmed that you are going to Gran Pulse, so in turn I want you to spend a full day with your good ol' buddy Snow. You can't back out because I'll track you somehow. Tomorrow meet me on the second floor lobby.'_

I smiled and turned off the written message.

A full day with Snow…I'm expecting it to be honest.

I continued making lunch with a chipper mood and my mom gave me a knowing smile as she hummed a tune in peace.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and gave a contented expression. Today my eyes seemed brighter with a positive set. My face with color and I left my room to grab a small snack. I didn't know if I was going to eat with Snow. He wasn't very detailed about what our full day would be about. I just knew I'd be spending the time with him.

Not that I'm complaining.

I landed on the second floor lobby and got locked in a one arm embrace.

"Good to see you kiddo." Snow stated and I smiled up at him.

"Likewise." I responded and he grinned.

He led me out of the apartment complex and released his hold as we walked down the path in the city. I followed him not knowing where he was going exactly, but once we neared the railway I gave him a curious gaze.

"Why are we here?

Snow grinned down at me.

"You know about the wishing fireworks display in Bodhum?"

Was he going where I think he was going?

I nodded.

"Yeah it's a special event…Snow…?"

He took my wrist.

"Well good because we are going to Bodhum this instant to enjoy the fireworks and my homeland's exquisite things it has to offer."

I was dragged to the station ticket way and he purchased two of them. I stared at him.

"But it takes three hours-

"When I said full day kiddo I _meant_ the full day. 17 hours with me won't kill you right?" He joked and before I knew it we were on the railway.

* * *

><p>"Welcome to the beauty of my hometown." Snow exclaimed as he dragged me through the station and out to the seaside.<p>

I gathered myself as I observed the land. It is beautiful and peaceful. The shore hit the hand calmly with no high tide in the water. I saw people relaxing on the sandy beach or walking around talking amongst each other.

I glanced above the sky where the white clouds cover the vast blue sky but the sun shone its warm rays down on Bodhum.

I smiled and turned to Snow. He had on a bright smile and I saw the familiarity in his eyes. He had missed his home and he was happy to see it once again. I closed my eyes as the wind brushed by me.

"It is beautiful. How come you moved to Palumpolum? It's lovely here…" I questioned walking down the steps to touch the sand that surprisingly didn't dig underneath my shoe. I noticed the small shops and different homes, not to mention the bar filled with customers with happy smiles.

Snow reached up to place his hands behind his head and let out a yawn.

"Bodhum is great and I love this place, but remember my history here? I wouldn't think I'd get a fair share of nice talk. Besides, I wouldn't see you as much and that woulda' killed ya right?" He grinned with a wink.

I flushed frowning and turned away.

"Yeah flatter yourself huh." I brought up a small smile and stood there unsure.

"So…uh? What are going to do in the meantime before the fireworks start, and does my mom knows I'm here? If she doesn't she's going to be mad, ugh I should've stayed behind." It was rare of me to have this sort of conflict. Was I trying to push the fact that I was here alone with Snow to my mom's concern for me?

Who knows?

Snow placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled down at me.

"Don't worry kid, just have fun and relax! Who knows if Gran Pulse has a beach like Bodhum?" He yelled out enthusiastically and we started our adventurous day in Bodhum.

I found out how to make a necklace thanks to my teacher Snow Villiers who then rubbed it in my face as he made three of them with ease while I made one with difficulty. Show off. He took me to have an iced fruit and promptly made a fool of himself by leaning to hard on the stand's sign and crashed it down. That earned 30 minutes of rebuilding, again show off.

I splashed water to his body as he made me go two feet into the water due to the fact I complained that I wasn't prepared for a trip to the beach so my Capri's were only knee length. He rolled up his pants and removed his gloves as he wadded in the water.

It wasn't salty, but it held a taste. I laughed as he tried to splash more water onto me. He failed to make a modern replica of his apartment complex while I made my unique architect skills to use by beating him in that.

He raised a brow at the detailed sand building and said it didn't count because it was my talent. I shoved it back by saying that his necklace making is the same thing. He grinned.

It was barely afternoon and the fireworks didn't start for another 7 hours.

He introduced me to his group he called NORA and I was surprised at the name for it was my mom's given name. He explained the acronym and I gave him a displeased expression. I recognized his friends from the wedding, but I didn't pay large attention since I was in the state of unrequired depression.

It was still unrequired but I was actually happy at this form of friendship. It wasn't love and or anything close, but I guess it was good to be with Snow like this for a change. It didn't need to be anything else. I realized that I was finally getting over him and I was okay with it.

Snow glanced down at me and smiled pinching my cheek.

"Stop being so damn cute." He commented and went back to talking to his group.

I blushed with a smile on my face and touched my cheek. Yeah I was okay with it, but if he didn't stop doing these things to me I'm never gonna go through that finish line! Snow you make me want to scream in frustration.

"Hope." A commanding voice called out.

I turned at the familiar voice and gave a friendly smile.

"Lightning." I greeted and she walked up to me.

"What are you doing here?" She asked crossing her arms. She still had her strong posture and unapproachable look.

I pointed at Snow.

"He kinda dragged me out here to see the fireworks display since I'm…" I stopped shortly and glanced at the ground. Should I tell her about Gran Pulse? Would she be a supporter or argue about the depths of hell in that place.

"I'll push aside your explanation as to why he brought you, is Serah here as well?"

I froze my response. That's right…Serah. She is Snow's wife and he only brought me along. Was she in on this plan as well? Did she know that Snow wanted to have a full day with me alone to watch the fireworks display, an event special enough for a wedded couple, yet she's not here.

I shook my head.

"No. She's uh- Back at Palumpolum, he just brought me along." I told her truthfully. I couldn't lie to her, she would find me out completely like at the wedding.

She pursued her lips disapprovingly and sighed.

"I suppose so. How has he been behaving and how are you?" She questioned shifting her stance to one arm on the hip and leaning on her left leg.

"Snow's great…he's really glad to be here and I'm great as well. I've changed a bit more and I'm moving away from that stage of being in love with him." I informed.

Her expression of understanding surfaced and Snow bounded over to us and beamed at Lightning.

"Hey Sis! What brings you here?" He announced.

She narrowed her eyes at him and clicked her tongue.

"I should be asking you the same thing. Why did you leave Serah behind?" She commanded rather than questioned. I could tell her protective side was coming out and I inched just a bit closer to Snow without them noticing.

Snow clamped a hand on my head and smiled showing no fear or discomfort at the small hostility in Lightning's voice.

"I'm having a full day hanging out with Hope, Serah understood since he's leaving off to the enormous world of Pulse."

I mentally cursed at Snow for letting it slip. I wanted to come clean first. It never helped to be the receiving end of news from others than the main person themselves. Lightning turned her gaze to me and gave a slight glare.

"Gran Pulse? What are you thinking?" She hissed a bit clearly not amused.

I sighed. Snow seemed to get that she hadn't been informed of my recent news and gave an apologetic guilty glance at me.

"I met this girl who comes from Gran Pulse, she offered a program and I considered it. My parents already gave a green light. So…that's it." I explained.

She narrowed her eyes.

"Are you sure it's not because of that right?"

I knew what she meant and I shook my head. Snow smiled and wrapped an arm around me.

"This kiddo wants to go Gran Pulse for a new experience and I say it's totally fine, and it's not because of _that_." He emphasized.

Lightning sighed.

"So you know then I suppose?" She asked.

Snow nodded and I in turn glimpsed up at him and gave him a warm smile. He smiled back equally and held me tighter.

"Yeah I know and I'm completely okay with it, we talked it over it already." He replied. She wasn't pleased still and responded.

"Can I talk to you alone Snow?"

I slightly frowned and got a reassuring smile from Snow and he said to go and order some more of those iced fruits. I nodded and stalked off glancing over at my shoulder at Lighting who already started pointing a finger into Snow's shoulder with her menacing glare.

I sighed and wondered what the conversation was about. I got more iced fruit and waited on the dock swinging my legs back and forth touching the water with the tips of my toes.

"Hey." Snow called out and sat next to me taking his cup of iced fruit. He had on a contented smile. Lightning never seemed to get him down at all; meanwhile she ripped a new one to me in a gentle stern way. He was really strong around her, or just put up a brave stance. Height wasn't everything sometimes.

"What did she say?" I asked quietly. I watched the kids run around chasing the dog with cheerful laughter and smiles. I had noticed some people who knew Snow from long ago with wary stares and small whispers, but he paid no mind and had on his happy smile. I guess people still thought he was the one to blame for that past crime.

I never lost faith in him and saw the good of Snow Villiers despise what some of the residents of Bodhum thought. I knew who he was and I liked him for that.

He sighed and leaned back on his left arm staring up at the sky.

"Nothing big kid… don't fret about it. Are you enjoying your time here? We can scope out the shops and show you the small park here along with the aquarium and then we can relax here on the shore swapping stories of our prolonged future." He listed out.

I wanted to know what Lightning had spoken to him about, but apparently he didn't want to bother me with the conversation or wished to keep it private. I respected that and smiled.

"That's sound like a good plan." I replied and stared at him.

He turned down to look at me and it was a moment of unspoken silence. It wasn't uncomfortable or tense, but nice. We held our locked gazes and I briefly ignored the beating thump in my chest as my eyes widen when Snow leaned down.

Many thoughts raced through my mind and I felt my face heating up. What was going on? What was he doing? He's married. No! I can't possibly assume he's going to swoop down and kiss me. Wishful thinking with no purpose.

I gulped and subconsciously parted my lips holding in my breath as he bumped foreheads with me. He was extremely close to me and I closed my eyes.

People are probably watching. This isn't right. I have to move away now.

He touched my shoulder and I opened my eyes to see him smile.

"Do you know what your name truly means Hope?' He asked in a murmur.

I nodded and found my voice. Couldn't he just ask me normally instead of being face to face with me with our lips only inches away… Why was he even asking that? A random question I didn't get.

"Y-Yeah…a feeling of expectation for something to happen or a desire."

I went over my statement.

_A feeling of expectation for something to happen…_

I let out a small gasp and pushed Snow away. He caught his balance as he staggered and I stood up to run off. My heart beat wildly and the awful feeling arose inside me.

He was…

He was going to do what I wanted from him for a while:

A kiss.

I knew that could be the only reason he asked for my name definition. I loved him; I am in love with him… And he thought that my wish, my _**hope**__, _was to be kissed by him.

Was this the whole reason for this trip? Was he only playing with my feelings all this time? Did he enjoy softening me up, making me drop my guard and just charm his way into kissing me just so I could be off happy and left with unwanted feelings?

I clenched my fists and stopped running as I ended up at Bodhum station. I sat down on a bench just outside the entrance and stared at the ground.

I felt hurt. I felt used. I felt misunderstood…played with. Teased by the man I thought still cared for me and wanted to keep me special. And yet he fooled with my emotions knowing just how in love I still was with him and was already getting over him.

He ruined it.

I bit down on my lip and didn't let the tears come down. I sighed and retrieved my breath.

Was I getting ahead of myself? Was Snow actually doing this for a mocking purpose? Or did he mean something else by asking that question? Was it wrong of me to run off without explanation?

I don't know.

I waited a while before I heard his footsteps near. I glanced up at him and saw his concerned and sympathetic expression. I stood up and walked up to him and just let myself fall into his hold and then I muttered out the apologizes.

"I-I'm sorry. I just thought…I reacted in the wrong way…I'm still on the edge when it comes to my feelings and I just felt as if you were…" I sighed and pulled away. "I got mixed signals." I clarified.

Snow nodded and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. His gaze set forward on the station.

"Do you…want to go home?" He asked softly.

I shook my head.

"No…You invited me here for the fireworks and you said I was going to have a full day with you no matter what. So stay on that statement. I-I'm okay."

He smiled and led me down a different path and we ended up in the small park he told me about. I knelt down to pet a small lamb and smiled as it let out a pleased noise. Snow seemed to be behind me as I ventured through the park and admired the many tropical flowers.

I could tell he was still hurt in a way.

I turned to him and touched his wrist. I gave a nice smile at him.

"Why don't you tell me why you asked for my name meaning?"

He stayed silent for a moment before breaking out his signature smile and taking me over to open view of the beach and sky.

"These are wishing fireworks, that's the whole reason people view them; to wish upon their desire in hopes of it coming true. Well…I was thinking that maybe I should talk to the head board and give a proper name to these fireworks. That's where your name comes in. I was gonna proposition them to be called the Hope Fireworks." He made clear and I felt utterly horrible and stupid for thinking he was playing with me.

I nodded.

"That's an awesome idea."

He grinned down at me and we continued our daily events.

* * *

><p>The nighttime became stunning as the neon lights shined on the shops, stands, homes of Bodhum. The well known bar owned by one of Snow's friend filled with customers still.<p>

A group of people gathered around the shore as they were getting ready for the fireworks display.

Snow led me to a different area to watch them. We climbed a spiral staircase leading to the top of a building with a large clear view of the fireworks.

He leaned over the roof's small fence with a comfortable smile and I did the same as well.

Then it started.

My eyes reflected the different colors of the explosions on the sky. A show of many sparkles and lights. From small to large fireworks in different positions of the sky in a protective clear shell that held them in.

I smiled at them as I took in the scenery with my eyes for the first time.

I knew about the wishing fireworks display and had seen pictures of it, but never had I seen it live and to live the experience is better than a photo.

I glanced at Snow as he viewed them with a peaceful mood and I wondered if he was going to make a wish. Did he have to? He had a wonderful wife, a loving group, my friendship along with my mom's trust and care for him seven years ago.

What did he need to wish for?

"Are you going to wish for something?" He broke in through the silence of the fireworks going on. He didn't break his view from them. I smiled a bit and kept my eyes locked on the display.

"Should I? It's not just a myth right?" I asked grasping the top of the metal fence.

He gave a small chuckle.

"Who knows? I have wished on them and it's come true so far. At least up until now, I still need to make this year's wish." He said.

I looked down and then closed my eyes.

I would make a wish. A wish that I know won't come true the way I want it to, but someday in a way I will be happy with.

I wished for Snow to say he loves me. Someday. Maybe not now, or tomorrow, or next year, but someday.

Like he had when I was younger.

I opened my eyes and went back to viewing the fireworks.

"What did you wish for?" Snow asked turning his full attention on me.

I smiled.

"Aren't I supposed to keep that confidential?" I replied in a tease.

He laughed and rested his hands behind his head and kept his smile one.

"I guess you can. Was it good at least?"

"Yeah it is…" I say softly and went up to him and pulled him into an embrace.

"Thank you Snow…for this day." I let out and the feeling of sadness and realization sunk in as I knew that I would be away from him for three full years. I would miss him a lot that I knew.

He seemed to feel my emotions and hugged me tightly.

"I'll miss ya kiddo, you stay safe you hear me? Or I'm gonna barge into Gran Pulse."

I gave a strangled laugh mixed with a small sob and buried my face into his body.

I whispered something out loud that I had wanted to say in a long time with true meaning:

"I love you…"


	6. The Future of Happy Endings

**A/N: Well its the last chapter. Feels a bit rushed but oh well. I'm happy with my story. :) **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

** The future of Happy Endings**

* * *

><p>There was a time when my mom said that when the moon hit my face it glowed beautifully.<p>

As if I was a painting.

The train ride back to Palumpolum was slightly delayed due to rush of people leaving as well. Finally we got on an hour later and Snow decided to sit in the far back where it was more peaceful and quiet so I can fall asleep easier.

The moon shined brightly with its white ring glowing down. I rested my cheek against the window and closed my eyes. Snow patted my head and in return a small smile appeared on my features.

After the fireworks Snow held my hand.

Yeah…he did.

I shouldn't gloat about it seeing as I was on that final stage of getting over him, but I knew even if I did get over him, I'd still love him in my heart. I could never stop loving him, but I can stop _loving_ him.

I shifted a bit in my seat and rested my head on Snow's shoulder gently grasping his arm. My lips were parted slightly as I drew breathed through my mouth. I was eternally comfortable and this day was something I'd cherish forever.

I faintly felt the brush of my hair being moved and before I finally drifted to sleep, I could've sworn the feeling of warm lips touched my cheek.

"Where have the days gone?" My mom said her arms folded against her chest as she gave a sad smile.

I turned to her and gave her a heartwarming hug.

"Don't worry, the days will go by and before you know it I'll be right here in this home again." I comforted and she laughed slightly. Her arms tightly around my frame.

"It's not going to be the same." She whispered and I could feel the tears. I held in my tears and patted her back.

"I'll contact you as much as I can, promise."

We pulled away and she wiped her tears nodding. I turned to my dad who was at the side looking glum. I gave a small smile and gave him a short hug as well. He patted my back and then pulled away nodding.

"You stay safe Hope, good luck out there and show them what you got." He said smiling.

I chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah will do."

Serah and Snow were on the other side of my father.

We were all around the station entrance with Vanille watching. She had given her enthusiastic introduction but she knew this moment was special so she laid low in the background sitting on the steps.

I walked over to the married couple and smiled. Serah held her hands on Snow's arm before she reached out and hugged me.

"It was so nice to meet you Hope and no matter what no grudges hold against that. You contact us whenever okay?" She murmured in my ear. I gave her an agreement and she pulled away rubbing her nose and looked over at her husband.

Snow stood there with one hand in his trench coat pocket and the other on his hip. He flashed a grinned and pulled me into a hug. I felt him shift as he wrapped something around my neck and I pulled away to look down at it.

My eyes stared down a silver blue shaped heart on a platinum chain. I glanced up at Snow I question.

He nodded as if pleased with his work and smiled.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice you missing the necklace I gave to you long ago? Well never mind that kiddo, I made you a new one to think of me whenever you are in doubt or sad. My cheerful outlet shall be comforting yeah?" He explained.

I touched the heart and nodded.

"Thank you."

With a final glance at everyone I smiled and waved.

Vanille's hand touched my wrist and I followed her into a new world…a new life.

* * *

><p>"<em>Seriously?"<em>

"_Yes seriously…" A small glare stood firm in her expression._

"_Alright then…are you for sure? This will be the last-_

"_I know! But…it's for you…you need it most so go!" She stuck out her arms and pushed._

_The array of colors flashed by with enormous speed and in white flare a new scenery emerged: One with many modernized buildings with the finest technology. Bustles of people walking around the city and then them…__**him**__…towering over everyone with a huge smile and a new look._

_He was the first to walk up and wrap his arms around me._

_And maybe after all these years I still held the love, I knew I had overcome my ordeal of unrequired love because…_

_A sweet chaste kiss was placed firmly on my lips and a whisper emitted from the blond's lips:_

"_Welcome home Hope…"_

_There were many questions rising as to what happened with Serah, how my parents are responding to this kiss, why Vanille didn't come back with me, and whether I'd see her again, and why is Snow doing this to me, and why aren't I dreaming?_

_But I'd like to stay like this right now._

_I'm happy._

_I'm…full of hope._

_**My mom has a younger friend. His name is Snow Villiers and he's…**_

_**A love.**_


End file.
